Friday, July 1, 2016

FML, Quicksand

It's almost 2 weeks since I met her. We've been constantly chatting every day now. I don't know what this means, but it makes me pretty happy.

She's sweet. She's cute. She's friendly. She's helpful. She's kind. She's polite. Most important of all, she has no boyfriend!

But here's the twist. After some digging, not only is she all that was mentioned above, she married... Not only is she married, she also has a kid, almost 3 years old? Hot damn!

Just my luck, fml, every single time, me, always. I describe all this as FML, quicksand.

I know all these about her, and yet I am advancing. Talking to her, I wanted to, despite knowing all these. The same old case of my head telling me no, abort mission and my heart still wants to go on. Talking to her makes me happy, as if there's something I can hope for again, it gives me hope.

I've tried, bringing topics, that would let her slip and reveal the truth of her past. But she seems very determined to keep it a secret or hidden or buried. So I guess, I'll just let the past be the past.

I think I will be able to accept...


This uneasiness I am feeling, as I venture deeper and deeper into the quicksand that might consume me, being fully aware of the demise that is awaiting my every step of advancement. 


The date was 17June.