R.I.P Grandma

13April1925 - 11October2011 Chew Oi Fah, mother, grandmother and great grandmother to many.

From the 12th to 17th, I urgently went back to Kuching. While I was working, my phone vibrated. That time I knew something bad happened, I said that I hope it's not my grandmother. After work I receive a text from my sis, saying that my grandma had past away. And so I called my mum because she was the one who called me when I was working.

After I went back, I tried to get my ward leader's number and ask him if I could get compassionate leave. And so I was directed to call control centre and quite surprisingly I had a 4 day leave, which was more than I had bargained for. I bought the air tickets after that for only around SGD100, which was pretty cheap for a last minute purchase.

When I arrive at Kuching airport, while taking the long stroll from the gate to the customs immigration, this was the first time I wasn't excited to be back in Kuching...

So for the 3 days until the funeral, we were all at 同心善堂. I didn't spend much time there or helped out much, I went home to sleep instead of staying behind. Chinese funerals, in my opinion, are one of the most interesting funerals there are. As a Christian, at times I'm kinda lost as to when I should participate and when not to, as culture and religion collide, but I know God is proud of me and I still manage to please people.

I was never close to my grandma, so I didn't felt much. But through all this, I will remember how a son my dad was to my grandma. And I yearn to be as loyal as him.

How to?

Oh yeah, I finally did it, I made her angry. So here's my question, how to?

I apologised, I explained, I begged... What else can I do or how should I do it?

Any suggestions? Need help here.

She Might Just Be The One

I dont know where to start. She's cute, she's smart, she's pretty, she's nice, she's mature, she's friendly, she's interesting, she's great, she's amazing...

I'm really lucky to meet such a girl. I don't know how she feels about me, but I really like her. She might just be the one.

These few days have been great, we just hang out so often. We chat a lot too.

It's just... sometimes she doesn't reply me messages, which makes me wonder, is she interested in me? Oh well, let's just see how things go.

Ever Wonder What Happen To Them?

They were the most beautiful girls we've seen, we were nerds. We would stare at them every time they walk by, we would call our friend's every time they walk by, we would make a commotion every time they walk by, we would hardly ever be noticed. They were like angels, we could never reach them.

So ever wonder what happen to them? Who they would end up with? They were so far, they were untouchable, they were unreachable.

Definitely one would assume they'd be with some better guy, those rich, handsome, popular guys that they used to date back then.

But guess what? They're with losers now, wouldn't you be shocked? Fat, ugly, short guys. Its funny, they were the girl of your dreams and no matter how hard you chase, you could never reach them and now they're with these type of people.

Life's a heart breaker, yes it is, lol.

As Clear As The Blue Blue Sky

I finally manage to tell her everything. Well ok, not everything, but quite a lot. Yeah it does hurt, a bit, but it was the right thing to do. It hurts not because I couldn't be with a girl I liked. The thing is, I don't like her, it hurts because somehow it felt like I lost. Stupid pride hahaha.

Before I had already thought of the future being with her, what I have to do and stuff. Before I had done so many stupid things, one of it includes buying a camera almost RM5000 for her.

God worked His magic, and things are gonna work, for me at least, because I have the favor of God upon me. Well good luck to her and her boyfriend.

Why am I going through all this?

So I had to go to work, but when I was in the briefing room, all I could think about was the situation, what was going on. It was distracting me all the way, I was so worried it would affect my work because I hadn't been flying for more than a week already.

Well I got lucky, I was able to focus on my work, or rather the job managed to distract me a little. But after landing, the whole situation overwhelmed me again. Even when I was sleeping, I think I had another bad dream.

So around the evening almost night time, she was online in facebook. So I just asked casually if she would be back on the 17 or 18th, but she didnt reply me. However she did chatted with her sis. So she really didn't to talk to me. What's the big deal? What's happening actually?

What explanation is gonna come my way? What am I gonna hear? I only wanted to know why she bolted off to Penang just like that. But maybe I will get more than I had bargained for, maybe this time I will lose her, even as just a friend.

All this while, I wasn't chasing or courting her, I was just being nice to her, treat her with all my heart. With all my heart, I just did what I sincerely wanted to do, nothing more, I didn't want to win her over, I didn't try to win her over, not even once I thought of it, I just wanted to be nice to her, to treat her well...

Nightmare

I had my first nightmare after such a long time, all because of what had happened...