So this girl was my first love, I fell for her the first time I saw her, you can call it love at first sight. It was during secondary school, form 2. I still remember the classroom, where her classroom was, the corridors, the stairs, the love letters, the gift I gave her, the gift she gave me which I still have in my room.
Of course we never started, only friends, which was a blessing in disguise. We were close, but now I know, she was good with everyone, especially guys. Anyways, my fondest memories were taekwondo at Kenyalang. I would walk there in the morning to play badminton with her, then taekwondo, then walk home, and sometimes her mum would give me a lift home. I remember the strawberry milk tea she bought me. I remember seeing her showing her friend some taekwondo pattern during her PJ class while I was playing basketball with my friends before taekwondo club. Too many things that I remember, back then I was naive, even now so.
Today, my heart was really challenged, it was broken. I have given myself so many excuses to not like this girl, so many reasons, so many... but still, I enjoy every moment I spend with her and wants to spend more. I wish I could post it here, but I can't, it's confidential and also respect to her. I really feel like screaming. I keep on thinking of it, but I just cant imagine it. This is driving me crazy, why must I like a girl like this? I deserve better, I deserve someone as good as I am. Totally different views, call me old minded, whatever, thats the purity in me, that is sacred and holy to me, but I don't know how you view it.
Anyways, I think this was the last straw, the final nail to the coffin. Don't blame me if I change... but I don't know if I can do it... I hope I can, I wish I can...
