Home Is Where I Belong

No Updates

2012-01-19T11:07:00.001+08:00

Don't know why, but lately, I have no feeling at all about updating my blog. It's not that I have nothing going on in my life, just I guess, not worth blogging? I don't really know.

Well, thats all. Peace out!

End of the Year Post

2011-12-31T07:01:00.003+08:00

It's been a long time since I blogged. Well if you read the last post before this one, you'd understand why. I've been down for quite some time, after she devastated me. I didn't realise that I really was so serious about it. Time to move on, but I haven't recovered yet. Oh well, I'll just take my time.

So lets think back, for the past year, what had happened, lets recap and then look forward to next year 2012.

I wouldn't do a timeline thingy though, because all I had to do is just read back my old blog posts. So here we go.

My first full year away from home, out in a foreign country. It's not so different actually, Singapore. I've been to many places, done many things, possibly I wouldn't do in my entire life if I had stayed back. Actually, things weren't so bad.

Work related. I've been to China, Japan (used to be my dream destination, but actually it sucks), Indonesia, Australia, U.A.E (40'C++), Korea, America, Italy, England, New Zealand, Manila, India, Russia, Turkey and don't know if I missed out others. Done different things such as went to Ferrari World in Abu Dhabi, Six Flags Magic Mountain in Los Angeles (immune to roller coaster rides), Desert Tour in Dubai, Opera House in Sydney, Venice and Roman Colosseum, Blue Mosque in Turkey and again some more that I might miss out. Eat some food because I really enjoy "exploring", there's honeycombs and kebab in Turkey, ramen and sushi in Japan, traditional Beijing steamboat, some spicy food in India and Middle East, Italian risotto, pasta and pizza, America's Cheese Cake Factory, Korean kimchi which I really dont like and a couple more again.

I've been home a couple times, ok, many many times. So many times that people who work abroad don't usually get to go back that often. My grandmother passed away. My whole family growing closer to each other. Making money well. Get to be best friends with my first love. Playing League of Legends with my German buddies and loving it.

Honestly, I've fallen. So through it all, it isn't worth it. I'm not really me anymore, I kinda lost myself. I want to go back, but there's no place I can go but remain where I am. I can't go back like "Daddy I wanna study." and go back and support myself. I won't have income, I can't focus on my studies, I won't be able to be active in church, I can't really do much. At the age of 21, I reached the point of no return.

2012, I hope you are kind to me, I'll try my best to do what I can. Don't want to waste my youth away, want to do something good.

The Shirley Saga

2011-11-08T13:13:00.006+08:00

As of 4th November, it was officially over. Well, it ended before it even started. I don't really know where to start, I had a lot of ideas, but when its time to type it out, it all disappeared. Let's start from the beginning.

We first met when Sharon and I went back to Kuching, that was during Kuching Festival in August. That time, I was still interested in Sharon. We went out to eat a couple of times, for breakfast and Kuching Festival and movies. Thats when we started chatting, but she knew I liked Sharon back then. And then all the Sharon thing happen, and she was my informant and the person I could talk to. She kept me companied and stuff. We chatted all day, everyday, without failing, except when I go to work or when one of us is sleeping or she is eating or she went out.

So after Sharon officially dated with her boyfriend, and I went back to Kuching on September, I asked Shirley out. I don't think I really had feelings for her, it was just good having someone there you know? So we watched a movie together, and then had dinner at secret recipe. That was when, I remember the scene, she kept on talking and talking and talking, but I was just listening and not hearing, as I look at her, inspecting her, and then I decided, with a couple of encouragements from a few people, why not? During my trip back, we went out a few times more, I went to her house, hang out there, bring her family out to eat, tapao food for her family, help her dad do his resume, buy stuff for her pets, bla bla bla.

I really sacrifice and gave this girl a lot. I acted like a fool many times for her. I remember, I bought flowers for her, I bought chocolate for her every time I went back Kuching, I gave her money even though she didn't need it and I didn't need to. I made the effort to know her, her habits, her likes and dislikes, her past, her present, her future plans, her thinking, her mindset.

Things got wrong the 2nd time Sharon and I went back, but this time, Sharon had her boyfriend with her. And during that trip back, I only seen her once, for like what, 1 minute? 30 seconds? 20 seconds? That was another one of the stupid things I did for her. Ok, so I manage to see her that day, even if it was only a few seconds, to me, it was worth it. So that night, I booked her for the next morning, we'd meet for breakfast/brunch.

So that day, for me it isn't easy waking up in the morning, but I made the effort to do so and sent her a message, yeah she did reply, but only one of my text, then went missing, until 1+ when I texted her again. I was kind of piss, because that day, I was preparing to make my biggest sacrifice for her up to date, buy her a MacBook Air which cost RM3999. I wasn't very willing, because, she didn't really show much interest in me, but I was willing to make the gamble. Yeah, I wasn't in my mind, wasn't thinking straight, just doing it, just spending money mindlessly. I am that type of guy, I didn't want to buy love, but prove my love by the amount of money I'm willing to spend. But guess what, despite all my struggles for her, she didn't even care to make an effort to go out with me to buy that damn laptop. So that afternoon, we didn't meet. During the evening, I was really piss, I messaged her and I exploded. I think that was the beginning of the end.

Things only turn for the worst after that, there were hints, but I didn't took them. One of it was "Sorry but I couldn't accept your style", another one is "I think it is my problem, I am cold, always like that". But she also gave me the wrong idea when she said "I also don't know how I feel".

Slowly she wouldn't open up to me, wouldn't answer my questions or rather reply to my topics/attempts for conversation. Then it was slow and late replies. After that, it was only 1 words replies. And then totally to reply at all. I sent messages, I called. I knew she was ok, she wasn't harmed in anyway. She was online in WhatsApp and posting in Facebook, but ignoring me. I really tried very hard, in every way I know and can, and I suffered a lot. But it seems she don't know and just don't care.

This time, I didn't want to go back to Kuching because the air tickets were very expensive. But because what happened, I just had to go back, just like when my grandma past away. I didn't want to go back, but I had to.

I thought that we could talk it out, not really wanting to have another chance but rather to clear the air, but I didn't even had the chance to do that. Again I texted and I called, but no answer. Then Sharon messaged me, saying Shirley doesn't want me to bother her anymore.

I was devastated, so this is how things ended, bitter and painful. I thought that she was more mature than that, but who knew things would end this way? I never really wanted us to be together, I even knew we weren't a match for each other, we had problems communicating. She'd always talk and I'd always listen. Her topics don't really interest me and I had no comments and nothing to say. Her thinking, is just like Sharon's, but worse. I really thought Sharon's thinking was bad, but Shirley's is even worse.

This time back, was one of the worst trips I had back in Kuching, but thank God for my friends Poh Chun and Calvyn, they really showed me who is going to be there when I really needed it. They really salvaged my trip back to Kuching this time, if it weren't for them, I'd be miserable, just miserable. Oh yeah, this was the first time back in Kuching where I miss prayer meeting, life group and sunday service. See how bad the impact was on me? Just devastating. Oh yeah, also for the first time in my life, I went drinking so bad that I wanted to get drunk. Long Island Tea, the first gulp and I knew it was rum + coke. It was so bad, I puked in the toilet, making a huge mess. But never will I do it again, never will I get drunk again, never will I get hurt so badly again, never will I fall for a girl so unworthy again.

I'd easily give up Shirley, just my ego is bruised. I really tried very hard, and seriously I deserve better and she is just not worth it. But because I was better and I tried so hard and didn't get anything, thats why, in Hokkien we say, "beh kam guan".

Today starts a new chapter in my life, ever since taking this job, coming to Singapore, I was lonely. I had 3 crush stories in 1 year, that's like 1 in every 4 months? That's a lot. I needed the emotional support, one that a girlfriend would intimately give. But now, today, day 1, lets see how I fare, how am I gonna fare? I have no idea, but lets see. So used to chatting with Shirley all day long everyday, let's see how I'm gonna fare.

RM220 flowers for Shirley during her birthday.

22 roses for a 22 year old her.

Pink roses for the girl one admires and is courting.

R.I.P Grandma

2011-10-17T03:08:00.002+08:00

13April1925 - 11October2011 Chew Oi Fah, mother, grandmother and great grandmother to many.

From the 12th to 17th, I urgently went back to Kuching. While I was working, my phone vibrated. That time I knew something bad happened, I said that I hope it's not my grandmother. After work I receive a text from my sis, saying that my grandma had past away. And so I called my mum because she was the one who called me when I was working.

After I went back, I tried to get my ward leader's number and ask him if I could get compassionate leave. And so I was directed to call control centre and quite surprisingly I had a 4 day leave, which was more than I had bargained for. I bought the air tickets after that for only around SGD100, which was pretty cheap for a last minute purchase.

When I arrive at Kuching airport, while taking the long stroll from the gate to the customs immigration, this was the first time I wasn't excited to be back in Kuching...

So for the 3 days until the funeral, we were all at 同心善堂. I didn't spend much time there or helped out much, I went home to sleep instead of staying behind. Chinese funerals, in my opinion, are one of the most interesting funerals there are. As a Christian, at times I'm kinda lost as to when I should participate and when not to, as culture and religion collide, but I know God is proud of me and I still manage to please people.

I was never close to my grandma, so I didn't felt much. But through all this, I will remember how a son my dad was to my grandma. And I yearn to be as loyal as him.

How to?

2011-09-28T02:13:00.002+08:00

Oh yeah, I finally did it, I made her angry. So here's my question, how to?

I apologised, I explained, I begged... What else can I do or how should I do it?

Any suggestions? Need help here.

She Might Just Be The One

2011-09-12T00:48:00.002+08:00

I dont know where to start. She's cute, she's smart, she's pretty, she's nice, she's mature, she's friendly, she's interesting, she's great, she's amazing...

I'm really lucky to meet such a girl. I don't know how she feels about me, but I really like her. She might just be the one.

These few days have been great, we just hang out so often. We chat a lot too.

It's just... sometimes she doesn't reply me messages, which makes me wonder, is she interested in me? Oh well, let's just see how things go.

Ever Wonder What Happen To Them?

2011-09-02T16:34:00.004+08:00

They were the most beautiful girls we've seen, we were nerds. We would stare at them every time they walk by, we would call our friend's every time they walk by, we would make a commotion every time they walk by, we would hardly ever be noticed. They were like angels, we could never reach them.

So ever wonder what happen to them? Who they would end up with? They were so far, they were untouchable, they were unreachable.

Definitely one would assume they'd be with some better guy, those rich, handsome, popular guys that they used to date back then.

But guess what? They're with losers now, wouldn't you be shocked? Fat, ugly, short guys. Its funny, they were the girl of your dreams and no matter how hard you chase, you could never reach them and now they're with these type of people.

Life's a heart breaker, yes it is, lol.

As Clear As The Blue Blue Sky

2011-08-25T23:37:00.004+08:00

I finally manage to tell her everything. Well ok, not everything, but quite a lot. Yeah it does hurt, a bit, but it was the right thing to do. It hurts not because I couldn't be with a girl I liked. The thing is, I don't like her, it hurts because somehow it felt like I lost. Stupid pride hahaha.

Before I had already thought of the future being with her, what I have to do and stuff. Before I had done so many stupid things, one of it includes buying a camera almost RM5000 for her.

God worked His magic, and things are gonna work, for me at least, because I have the favor of God upon me. Well good luck to her and her boyfriend.

Why am I going through all this?

2011-08-16T20:44:00.003+08:00

So I had to go to work, but when I was in the briefing room, all I could think about was the situation, what was going on. It was distracting me all the way, I was so worried it would affect my work because I hadn't been flying for more than a week already.

Well I got lucky, I was able to focus on my work, or rather the job managed to distract me a little. But after landing, the whole situation overwhelmed me again. Even when I was sleeping, I think I had another bad dream.

So around the evening almost night time, she was online in facebook. So I just asked casually if she would be back on the 17 or 18th, but she didnt reply me. However she did chatted with her sis. So she really didn't to talk to me. What's the big deal? What's happening actually?

What explanation is gonna come my way? What am I gonna hear? I only wanted to know why she bolted off to Penang just like that. But maybe I will get more than I had bargained for, maybe this time I will lose her, even as just a friend.

All this while, I wasn't chasing or courting her, I was just being nice to her, treat her with all my heart. With all my heart, I just did what I sincerely wanted to do, nothing more, I didn't want to win her over, I didn't try to win her over, not even once I thought of it, I just wanted to be nice to her, to treat her well...

Nightmare

2011-08-16T09:00:00.001+08:00

I had my first nightmare after such a long time, all because of what had happened...

How would you have felt?

2011-08-15T14:34:00.003+08:00

Last message that you received from her "ok I will text you when I wake up".

And so you constantly wake up since 7am to check your phone if there were any messages even though you slept at 3am. Up until 1pm, there's still no sms. So you sent her a message checking if she is still sleeping.

Then she told you, she is already in the airport, what is going through your mind?

You are hungry, you haven't had your lunch because you two promised to meet for breakfast. After all that waiting, and she is already in the airport. What more she doesn't want to tell you whats happening, only that she is not going to work. Then what is she doing in the airport? Where is she going? Why is she going? And she wouldn't tell you a single thing.

Feeling puzzled, left out in the dark, angry and hungry. You hate it when you have no idea whats going on, what is happening. And again, all you can do is wait...

Options

2011-08-15T01:55:00.004+08:00

I've been crazy about this girl, I get to know her and got close to her and stuff. Just for the record, when I'm with her, I feel so close to her.

When we went back to Kuching together, I was really glad she made time for me. Of course there were times she didn't reply my messages, but we actually hang out, went for breakfast, watch movie, played L4D2 and went to k fest together. I really felt closer to her than ever, especially when we went out with her sis and mum. I really felt I had a shot and her family really liked me.

So lately, I've been chatting with her sis a lot, and I mean A LOT. I like her sis, she's cute, cool and nice. But she has been a little colder to me and the things that I dont like about her keep popping out. So then, just suddenly, I felt like I had an option, I have choices. So what is wrong with me? Yeah I met her first and stuff, but what am I doing? I dunno, maybe I'm just confused, like usual...

Yeah, I'm a despo... Just some girl treats me nice and I thought that there might be a chance for something special. Maybe I'm just lonely, but I still wait to meet the correct person, the perfect one.

I'm done with my rant, peace out guys.

Fatherly Advice

2011-06-27T01:26:00.003+08:00

It's been quite some time now that I wanted to ask my dad a question: "Why did he chose my mum?"

To be honest, my dad and mum aren't the most compatible couple on Earth. In fact, they are way too different, so many things that they disagree. Though they seldom fight about it, I can tell. That really makes me wonder, why did they chose each other and how did they make it past all these years?

So why am I asking? Reason being, I'm kind of in a situation myself. So I meet this girl that I really like, but there are so many things that I would disagree with her, so many of her qualities, characteristics, views, values, thoughts, opinions and thinking. I've been giving myself so many reasons to not like this girl, but in the end, only 1 reason is needed for me to like her.

I've been thinking a lot, I've always believe that there's a perfect girl for me, tailor-made by God just to suit me. We're 100% compatible, that everything I do or she does, just perfectly suits each other and we're able to help and support each other to go further. And this girl, just doesn't fit that description.

She calls me "old-minded" while saying that she is "open-minded". I want a wife thats one and only, who is 100% committed to me and me to her, she on the other hand doesn't mind her husband goofing off outside while she does the same but by the end of the day, they would return to each other. I hold strong values in God, while she's neither here nor there, though she did went to church since young, she also has the traditional Chinese believes. I believe that a couple should work together to build a family, but she doesn't want to work, wants a maid at home and her husband must give her half of his pay, and it isn't to manage the family's finance but only for her own "insurance".

Those are only a few instances, there are many others, but it would be rude for me to post it out. That's why I've been thinking a lot and I'd really like to hear what my dad has to say because I can see the similarity. Of course the right choice would be to say "screw all this, there's definitely one person out there waiting for me, and its the right person", but its just not that easy, when emotions are involved, logic just gets blurred.

She. Her. The Girl

2011-05-13T00:34:00.000+08:00

I'm glad that I'm so free now that I can have girl problems.

So this girl was my first love, I fell for her the first time I saw her, you can call it love at first sight. It was during secondary school, form 2. I still remember the classroom, where her classroom was, the corridors, the stairs, the love letters, the gift I gave her, the gift she gave me which I still have in my room.

Of course we never started, only friends, which was a blessing in disguise. We were close, but now I know, she was good with everyone, especially guys. Anyways, my fondest memories were taekwondo at Kenyalang. I would walk there in the morning to play badminton with her, then taekwondo, then walk home, and sometimes her mum would give me a lift home. I remember the strawberry milk tea she bought me. I remember seeing her showing her friend some taekwondo pattern during her PJ class while I was playing basketball with my friends before taekwondo club. Too many things that I remember, back then I was naive, even now so.

Today, my heart was really challenged, it was broken. I have given myself so many excuses to not like this girl, so many reasons, so many... but still, I enjoy every moment I spend with her and wants to spend more. I wish I could post it here, but I can't, it's confidential and also respect to her. I really feel like screaming. I keep on thinking of it, but I just cant imagine it. This is driving me crazy, why must I like a girl like this? I deserve better, I deserve someone as good as I am. Totally different views, call me old minded, whatever, thats the purity in me, that is sacred and holy to me, but I don't know how you view it.

Anyways, I think this was the last straw, the final nail to the coffin. Don't blame me if I change... but I don't know if I can do it... I hope I can, I wish I can...

Pray for Parents

2011-04-21T22:26:00.003+08:00

Dear Lord,

I thank You for my dear parents. All this while I had failed to see their love for me, failing to appreciate what I already have, falling into the traps and lies from the devil. But today I know, today I see, and I am grateful and thankful for them. I pray that Lord You bless them, take good care of them. Because I really hold them dear in my heart and I wish that our relationship improve even better. I am lucky to have them as my parents and I shall appreciate them even more. I just want to pray for them O'Lord, that you take good care of them, and also my little sis. Let Your blessings pour onto them. Thank you Lord. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

4th Fort Sink

2011-04-18T22:27:00.000+08:00

Thank You Edge

2011-04-18T15:23:00.004+08:00

Yes, I am a wrestling fan and this post is dedicated to Adam Copeland aka Edge, the rated r superstar, the master manipulator, the ultimate opportunist.

http://wrestlingfeed.com/dailymotion.php?url=kXe64ytWqTGWrK24o28

Its Kind of a Funny Story

2011-03-26T16:17:00.005+08:00

Its kind of a funny story that Its Kind of a Funny Story is kind of like my story. So the whole story about a teenage kid who wanted to kill himself because of stress and depression but got himself admitted into a psychiatric ward. Thats where he met some people, and also the purpose to live again. Depression, stress, emotional, down, negative...

There were a few quotes in the movie that I really liked. However, my favorite would be : "I... This is the part I don't get Craig, I mean... You're cool, you're smart, you're talented... You have a family that loves you. You know, what I would do to just be you for just a day. I would... I would do so much. I would... I don't know, I'd just... I'd just live." Then there's another one: "Okay, I know you're thinking, what is this? Kid spends a few days in the hospital and all those problems are cured? But I'm not. I know em. I can tell this is just the beginning. I still need to face my homework, my school, my friends, my dad... But the difference between today and last Saturday, is in the first time for a while, I can look forward to things I want to do in my life. Bike, eat, drink, talk, ride the subway, read, read maps, make maps, make art, finish the Gates application, tell my dad not to stress about it, hug my mum, kiss my little sister, kiss my dad, make out with Noelle, make out with her more, take her on a picnic, see a movie with her, see a movie with Aaron, heck see a movie with Nia, have a party, tell people my story, volunteer at Three North, help people like Bobby, like Muqtada, like me, draw more, draw a person, draw a naked person, draw Noelle naked, run, travel, swim, skip, yeah I know its lame, but whatever, skip anyway. Breathe... ... ... Live. " Also there's this one thats really the case : "Like, I'm on the verge of just blowing up. You know, all the stress and pressure and anxiety, just bubbling up. But I'm never be able to let it out like that. You know, I just keep it inside."

Then there was Emma Roberts! Gosh she is so pretty. The only bad thing was, she had kiss scenes, 4 of them! Well okay, there was only 2, and 2 were just pictures. But still, kind of piss me off. Hahaha, but whatever, its just stupid. Also, she is way prettier than Nia!

I think this movie really did help me a little, its good, its what I like.

3rd Fort Sunk by KSer aka me

2011-03-26T01:56:00.001+08:00

http://battlestations.mobileweapon.net/history_view.php?hid=816890

In Ya' Face!

2011-03-17T13:08:00.000+08:00

In your face kill stealers always gunning for last hit!

Michael Bublé - Home

2011-03-17T08:31:00.001+08:00

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

Seriously Homesick

2011-03-05T23:43:00.004+08:00

I hate to admit it, but ever since coming back from home, I am not feeling very good inside. I have this feeling in my gut, which I really dislike. I think my sister is probably the only thing that is making me feel better in Singapore. I don't like this job, which makes my life in Singapore really bad. I don't enjoy the job, people always say, its very nice that you can travel all around the world or wow you're working with SIA or thats a lot of money for your age and qualifications, but I guess they really don't know unless they are there or I am just too weak. I hate the bond, which is 13,800 Singapore Dollars, and is close to RM30k. I don't know how long I can take it, and Herman's situation is really encouraging me. I am not trying to demotivate myself here, but I am just saying out my feelings. How is ah mei gonna feel once I am gone? How is mummy and daddy gonna think about me for being such a quitter? But somehow I really cannot take this, it feels bad.

I really do feel like calling my mum and begging her to let me go home, I am feeling very down.

Home

2011-03-01T16:56:00.007+08:00

It felt great being home, from 22/2-27/2. My schedule was packed, since day 1 until the last day, from morning until night.

On day 1, I reached Kuching around 4pm, on the plane with me was my sis, Calvyn and his father, and also my sis' batch boy. Once we reached there, mummy hasn't even came. When we called her, she told us she was washing the car. OMG, can you believe it? Both her children has come back from a foreign country after months, and she is washing the car! Well doesn't matter. At night, I had dinner with GIFC. Anderson came to fetch me, yep you saw right, ANDERSON CAME TO FETCH ME, ANDERSON DRIVING HIS CAR! So we had the gathering at the Lok Lok place behind Kuching High. I ate like RM26 and I wasn't even full, so expensive and bohua! And I owe Kok Yuen the money, because I was loaded with Singapore Dollars and zero on Ringgit. Must remember to pay him back. After that, the 3 Musketeers + 1 went to Gizmo to play L4D2. Since I never played the new maps, The Sacrifice and The Passing. The unfortunate thing was, they keep on chiong, so I didn't really had much fun, but at least I can't say that I never played the map before.

On day 2, which was a Wednesday, I watched The Mechanic with the 3 Musketeers again. Jason Statham, one would expect something more of him, but it wasn't that bad a movie either. There's the gay part where they were gonna "fix" another mechanic, that really got us going "Eeeee~". Then at night, had dinner with my family and then we went to visit my grandma at Normah. She's been there since before CNY. I didn't knew what to think or how to feel at the moment of the time, either that everything is normal because she is old or to feel very worried because it's been quite a many times she's been in the hospital.

On the 3rd day, I had the privilege to have Calvyn bringing and accompanying me shopping and having my haircut. Went around Sarawak Plaza, Tun Jugah and Parkson with shoes as my priority, but couldn't even get 1. In the end, got myself 2 t-shirts and some shoe polisher. Also, Tun Jugah is 60% empty on the 2nd floor and only Popular left on the 3rd floor, poor Tun Jugah.

At night, brought my parents to watch I Love Hong Kong 2011. It was very very funny, my favorite part would be the front part where they all pretended to be ghost, amazing hahahaha. When we were leaving the cinema, we met ah mei the betrayer with her friends, she hadn't answer any of our calls all day long and said she didn't bring her phone with her. After the movie with my parents, I went to Isabella with part of GIFC. We played cards and chatted, and I treated everyone for the night. Also I spent the night at Calvyn's place.

On Friday, went with Calvyn to Saberkas in search of some pc stuff, Ngage and shoes. I bought a pair of speakers and 3 pairs of shoes. After that, I went to Charles' home and we went to H&L to shop for our steamboat's ingredients. Then we went prayer meeting. I'm glad that I am still able to worship God freely, to be able to speak in tongue. At a point, my tears even came out. This is indeed home, this is indeed my church. After PM, was the steamboat and bbq. It was awesome, except that, I felt, there wasn't enough food, I kept on saying "should have bought more food". Funny thing was, we were using charcoal from the last time that we bbq, which was 4 months ago, left behind in the barrel and we still manage to cook the chicken wings to perfection, praise God for that. That night we slept at 3am.

In the morning, we went to have breakfast at Starbucks and I actually had a 20% discount using my Swinburne student ID, lucky I didn't return it. Then we went to One Jaya since I never been into the building since it's opening. Nothing special, didn't even manage to go to the top floor. Afternoon went to LG, it felt that there was less people. The theme was "Compromise". It was a great theme, a great reminder for me, since coming to Singapore, I had indeed compromise many things and it's time I take them back. At night, had dinner with my parents at San Francisco Grill, which is just next to the Lok Lok place. My dad said he used to bring my mum here every year during her birthday, because of the atmosphere. After dinner, went out with my secondary school gang to Isabella, but the place was full, so we went to Day Dream instead, which was just next door. We played pool and my skills really suck, haven't played in a long time. We were one of the last to leave the place. Kiong still owe me money hahahaha.

The next day was also the last day, Sunday. It was raining, ever since last night, the feeling on the bed was incredible, so comfortable, so familiar. I was too tired, so I missed WFL and also went to SS late. When I was there, it was already the Holy Communion, it meant a lot to me to be able to partake the bread and wine. After shepherding, went home to take lunch because mummy insisted to cook for me, to let me have a home cook meal. I ate for more than an hour trying to finish everything and trust me it was a huge portion with 5 dishes, red wine chicken, ginger beef, fried fish egg, oyster sauce vege and soup. Then I went to pack and be ready to return to Singapore.

I didn't want anyone to send me off, because it would be very hard for me. I was never good with goodbyes. I was very reluctant to leave, because of the love and welcome I received. But then I remembered how I left in the first place. And also, that coming back was suppose to motivate me, to push me on so I can continue my work in Singapore. It's not that bad, in fact, if I look at it this way, I can go back every month if I wanted to. I want to leave as if I never left the place, so no goodbyes, because I'll be BACK!

Finally, I'm Going Home

2011-02-22T05:19:00.002+08:00

I miss Kuching so much. Everything I love is there, the people I love, the place that I had known my whole life. I left behind so many things there, including many of my problems. This time, when I'm going back, there are so many things I want to do, such as shopping, so many things I want to buy, clothes, pc accessories, play with my pets, get a haircut, return my dad his money, go play L4D and L4D2 new maps, watch movies, and of course the most important thing, mend my problems, my broken relationships.

I am so glad that I will be going home =D

Birthday, so what?

2011-02-10T18:50:00.003+08:00

Yeah, its that once a year occasion again. Ever since coming to Singapore, all these occasions mean little to me, Christmas, New Year, Chinese New Year, birthday. My favorite would definitely been Chinese New Year, but this year, not only did I spent it in London, I also spent it getting zapped like crazy by a lousy gay. However, birthdays have never been my thing, never been fond of them, so it doesn't matter to me if there's a celebration or not.

I'd be happy just with my laptop.

First Fort Sink in Battle Stations!

2011-02-08T02:19:00.001+08:00

你看不到的天空

2011-01-23T12:46:00.002+08:00

This song does have its significant meaning for me inside.

And the song quality ain't that good.

周杰倫-说了再见

2011-01-04T20:32:00.005+08:00

Recently, I've kinda been hoping that time passes, by then, I'd be away from her, then things wouldn't be so complicated and will be better. But then, this song, really hit me.

"说了再见才发现再也见不到，能不能就这样忍着痛泪不掉"

Indeed its true, it's most probable that we might not see each other again or meet after our flight to Shanghai. Well, from the sentence itself, it does sound very sad. To not meet ever again after parting. What a sad fact.

Other than that, we share the same birth dates, only difference is that she is 2 years older than me. So today, I said to her, lets celebrate our birthdays together, that is if I'm not called up during my standby, which I really hope that I don't get called up. She has an off day on that day too, so I really hope a miracle happens, keeping my fingers crossed.

2010 -> 2011

2010-12-31T23:58:00.003+08:00

Usually, people would write about new years resolution. Well, usually, I would too. But somehow, I dunno why, I have nothing to write about, no new years resolution. I guess that kinda explains my life now. No purpose, no target, just trying to live through, or rather, survive everyday. So there goes 2010 and here comes 2011. I wonder what's in store for me? No that Im that eager. Well, we'll just take things as it comes.

王力宏 - 愛在哪裡

2010-12-27T20:20:00.007+08:00

These 2 words keep floating in me 寻找, weird isnt it? And I guess this song kinda serenades the 2 words.

在哪里
她到底在哪里
终于知道我给的太少
我的宝贝在哪里

哦好可惜
象是场梦而已
醒来以后发现
她却走了
不会电不回信

告诉我爱在哪里
找过高找过低
爱在哪里
一直寻寻觅觅

爱在哪里
如果看到她
说我还(说我还)在这里
告诉我爱在哪里
找过东找过西
爱在哪里
仍然无声无息
爱在哪里
我好想念她能回
(快点回)来因为
爱在那里

Christmas in Singapore

2010-12-24T09:52:00.005+08:00

The holiday festivities - Christmas is so strong in Singapore. Unlike in Malaysia, Christmas is a huge occasion here. Once in office, everyone is so merry, I guess thats why they call it Merry Christmas.

However, I will never forget the center of Christmas, Christ. Even though I know the original Christmas isn't about Jesus, its about the winter snow festival, Jesus was the one who brought the festival to a whole new level with true meaning and a reason to rejoice.

Dear Jesus, I thank you, for once upon a time, You loved us and came to earth. =D

So here's whats happened in my office, its more like a party celebration more than an office working day.

遥远->寻找

2010-12-19T14:13:00.003+08:00

遥远，是内心里感受的距离。我越来越确定，我所寻找的人不是你。但现在，还是好好享受一下这段友情吧。因为，再过不久，这一切很快很快就会消失了。

或许命运的签只让我们遇见，只让我们相恋这一季的秋天，飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片。等着春天的到来，这段感觉就会和冬天的雪一起溶解。

看来，我还是要继续寻找，继续寻找属于我的天使！

喜欢=自私，爱X

2010-12-15T19:09:00.003+08:00

总觉得说喜欢的感觉比爱好得多。

喜欢，我可以自私的犹豫要不要买点点心给你添个肚子；但爱，我就一定要买给你。

喜欢，我可以自私的在一旁吃醋当你和别的男生好一点；但爱，我就要装大方不介意。

喜欢，我可以自私的让别的男生帮你，虽然我有心无力；但爱，我就一定要帮你，虽然我不是最好的人选。

还有许多许多，我只能在喜欢时自私的去做而爱却不能做的东西，我暂时说不出来。

这一切，果然，没什么特别；这一切，很快很快就会过去了，到那时我也不再需要忧虑这一切了。

你不知我为什么离开你～

2010-11-27T17:04:00.003+08:00

Its funny how the little things she do can affect me so much. Like how she doesn't reply my messages could make me feel so disappointed or how she hits me after I teased her could light up my day.

But I know, all this counts for nothing, because I'm just a friend. However, all this means a lot to me. I wonder how things would be, after we all graduated.

I try my best to keep away from her, but deep down, I still really like this girl. It's not easy for me, but I am forcing myself away. Unlike before, I would go to her and talk to her every chance I get. Right now, even if she is alone over there, I'd still stay away and remain silent. It's tearing me inside, but I respect the fact that she is in a relationship, that she has a boyfriend.

Lost and Found

2010-11-24T21:44:00.002+08:00

I've been down and out for too long now, and I finally snapped out of it today. Ever since coming to Singapore, I've been feeling lonely and empty. I have been setting my sights on the wrong thing. I I have been focusing on the wrong thing.

The question that helped me snap out of it: What is your passion? Indeed that I had put my being into the wrong thing in Singapore. But what passion? It's God, His kingdom and His people. I may have left Kuching, and all the people there, but God, His kingdom and His people are everywhere, including Singapore. And that is enough to keep me going. I'm back, and I'm bad(in a good way though)!

Oh the Pain

2010-11-23T20:57:00.004+08:00

Man, this is torture. Then why the heck am I doing here? I keep on biting my teeth, biting my fingers, biting myself, just shows how much my frustrations are. I brought this upon myself, so I cant blame anything. Just hope that I can keep my cool now and quickly recover, not to act like a fool and screw myself.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

2010-11-22T22:33:00.002+08:00

Its not easy for me, its like cutting myself when I asked her about her bf. Nonetheless, I still had to do it. I didn't do it because I was a busybody or a stalker. I just wanted to know more about her, and, her bf preference was quite important to me. He must be quite a person, to be able to be her bf. I respect him for that, and I wont do anything funny.

Feeling like Crap

2010-11-20T20:33:00.003+08:00

I feel horrible. Just a few days ago everything was fine. Then the game of hide & seek and dodge ball started. I dunno what went wrong, where went wrong, how it started or why it started. I'm as puzzled as a newborn child, I'm as riddled as the tide. Shed some light unto me, tell me why is this happening, what have I done wrong?

It's funny how things can change so fast. It's just like, one moment you were reading a page of the newspaper and you turn your head for a sec, the page just turned itself.

I can't take all this, it's just too much, I feel overwhelmed. But what can I do? Nothing!

... ...

不能说的秘密

2010-11-19T21:20:00.002+08:00

冷咖啡離開了杯墊l
leng ka fei li kai le bei dian
As the cold coffee leaves the coaster

我忍住的情緒在很後面
wo ren zhu de qing xu zai hen hou mian
I desperately tried to hold my emotions far behind

拼命想挽回的從前
pin ming xiang wan hui de cong qian
The past I’m fighting hard to recover

在我臉上依舊清晰可見
zai wo lian shang yi jiu qing xi ke jian
On my face you can still see ever so clearly

最美的不是下雨天
zui mei de bu shi xia yu tian
Rainy days are not the most beautiful

是曾與你躲過雨的屋檐(oh)
shi ceng yu ni duo guo yu de wu yan
It’s the shelters that I once shared with you in the rain

回憶的畫面
hui yi de hua mian
The imagery in my memory

在蕩著秋千夢開始不甜
zai dang zhe qiu qian meng kai shi bu tian
While on the swings dreams become less sweet

你說把愛漸漸放下會走更遠

ni shuo ba ai jian jian fang xia hui zhou geng yuan

You said by gradually letting go of love would one go further

又何必去改變已错过的时间
you he bi qu gai bian yi cuo guo de shi jian
and why bother changing the time that you’ve missed

你用你的指尖阻止我說再見
ni yong ni de zhi jian zu zhi wo shuo zai jian
you used your fingertip to stop me from saying goodbye

想象你在身邊在完全失去之前
xiang xiang ni zai shen bian zai wan quan shi qu zhi qian
imaging you being by my side before you completely disappear

你說把愛漸漸放下會走更遠
ni shuo ba ai jian jian fang xia hui zhou geng yuan
You said by gradually letting go of love would one go further

或許命運的簽只讓我們遇見
huo xu ming yun de qian zhi rang wo men yu jian
Perhaps life’s destiny lot only allowed us to meet

只讓我們相戀這一季的秋天
zhi rang wo men xiang lian zhe yi ji de qiu tian
Merely allowing us to love, in this one season of fall

飄落後才發現這幸福的碎片
piao luo hou cai fa xian zhe xing fu de sui pian
Only after it drifted down do I realise this fragment of happiness

要我怎麼撿
yao wo zen me jian
How do i pick them up

Such nostalgic feeling~

Struggling

2010-11-18T23:45:00.004+08:00

And so, ever since I knew she had a boyfriend, I start acting weird. I know I've talk it through with a friend and yeah, his words makes sense, but, it still feels bad. I still feel like crap, everything still feels like it sucks. I know I also said about my motto and stuff, but still, it doesn't feel good.

I still hope I can stay true to my motto.

It feels as though

The sun doesn't shine anymore

The rainbow lost its colours

That colours feel so dull

That happy love songs became slow-rhythm-ed

The world had stopped spinning

My heart has stopped beating

I don't wanna talk anymore

I don't feel anything anymore

I don't care anymore

Friendship and Relationship

2010-11-16T22:42:00.002+08:00

I bet that, when a person likes someone, he definitely cant wait to get that girl, you know, to have that girl as his girlfriend. However, I have met one of the oddest cases ever.

I realised that I really enjoyed this friendship, and I really cant imagine being in a relationship with her. I mean, I cant imagine holding her hands, or going out on a date with her, or having dinner with her . As friends, I feel much more joy, I feel that I am free to express myself or be quiet and just listen, and things wouldn't be awkward.

I can go on without a relationship, but I definitely don't want to lose this friendship. Of course I still wish the best for her, I still wanna look out for her and help her out when she needs it. As I like to say, as long as you are happy, I don't care what happens to me, I seriously think thats a good motto, and I'll be sticking to it.

…………等…………

2010-11-15T23:41:00.002+08:00

I copied this note from a friend (shhhhhh). I think it is amazing, thats why I copied it, but she doesnt know, please dont steal it like I did =S

喜欢，是淡淡的爱;爱，是深深的喜欢… 我喜欢，却不敢爱… 喜欢，没有负担，我可以告诉你，我喜欢你~但爱，不行，我没法说出这个字，因为太沉重… 喜欢，没有自私，我可以陪你开心难过，没有顾虑~但爱，不行，因为总是有不受控制的离心力，太累了… 喜欢，没有带恨，我可以原谅你无数次，不后悔~但爱，不行，因为忘不了，做不到… 喜欢，没有心碎，我可以在哭过之后，笑着拥抱~但爱，不行，因为伤心过后，有个地方无法再次拼凑… 喜欢，没有理智，我可以抱着满满的幻想，不考虑结果~但爱，不行，因为我会被很多压得透不过气，接受现实… 喜欢，没有欺骗，我可以回答“是的，我喜欢你”~但爱，不行，因为那是承诺… 喜欢，没有背叛，撒娇闹脾气不讲道理都可以被原谅~但爱，不行，因为，那是种罪… 喜欢？爱？都再见了…要找回以前的自己…还能吗…

2 Months...

2010-11-12T23:15:00.004+08:00

Today, I just realised, there is only 2 months left. I really enjoyed our time together, but on 26 January 2011, it might be the last time we meet, and the thought scares me. That I might never see you again, 2 months... only 2 months left...

Very common case

When I am close to you, I dunno what to say, I just wanna listen to your voice.

When I am near you, I dunno what to do, I just wanna look at you.

I will give you all the attention you require, I will be your best listener, I will try my best to remember everything about you.

When I dont see you, I keep on thinking of you.

When Im not with you, I keep on wishing that I am.

I know I am not the guy, that I am not the one.

That I cant teach you how to swim.

That I am not the outdoor person.

That I am not interested in physical activities.

That I dont do rock climbing.

That I am not as interesting as you are.

That I am such a boring person.

Day Dream

2010-11-09T21:08:00.004+08:00

Over lunch with my colleagues today, I found out 2 of my colleagues are getting married and 1 of them getting engaged next year.

Initially I did not even dare imagine it, but then my mind rendered me to day dreamland. There she was, in her wedding gown, with the brightest smile ever. Standing beside me, I was in my tuxedo. She was my bride... woah, what a sight, overwhelming. She was smiling, she looks so beautiful... mesmerizing, breathtaking... as I am looking at her right now.

Yeah, its all crazy thinking, and I'll leave it as it is, I will not think of it again, because I know, its not that simple and its not gonna happen.

恋爱通告 Love In Disguise (2010)

2010-11-02T07:01:00.002+08:00

Loved the music part, love the comedy, and love the romance. I'd definitely recommend this movie, although some parts are illogical.

In Singapore

2010-10-30T17:28:00.002+08:00

Since moving to Singapore, my days havent been half as bad. In fact, I actually like going to class, because there is a certain "motivation".

Yeah there were times when I took the wrong bas and met some lousy taxi drivers, some not so nice experiences, but the "motivation" was good enough for me.

Other than that, I have phobia for relationships and I really hope that the phobia keeps me safe. Because from my relationships, I know that there is only hurt and regret. So, I better control myself and keep my distance.

Brb, not Goodbye

2010-10-17T23:10:00.002+08:00

Im leaving this place with a heavy heart. The place that I have grown up in, the place that I had known my whole life, the place that I had loved so much. The place where everyone I know lives, the place where everyone I love and treasure lives in.

Even with all the farewells, with all the hugs and wishes I receive. I dont really feel like talking, because in my heart, Im just counting my days until I leave. I dont really feel like talking, because in my heart, I dont really feel like Im leaving.

Everything is gonna be like a brb, not a goodbye. I'll be back in 5 years, its a promise!

The Prodigal Son

2010-10-05T18:14:00.002+08:00

Luke 15:11-32 (New International Version)

The Parable of the Lost Son

¹¹Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. ¹²The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

¹³"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

¹⁷"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.'²⁰So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

²¹"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.

²²"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.²³Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

²⁵"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

²⁸"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

³¹" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³²But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

Taken from http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+15:11-32&version=NIV

iPawnZombies

2010-05-18T12:56:00.002+08:00

Just like in Left 4 Dead 1 & 2, I pawned you in Plants Vs Zombies. Now just real life left, waiting for your challenge.

Amidst Times of Busyness

2010-05-06T00:18:00.003+08:00

Dear God, may you add strength and wisdom to all my bros and sis. That no matter how busy he/she is, he/she will continue to remember that You are his/her Lord and that You are in control over everything. In the midst of his/her busyness, give him/her Your joy and excitement to persist on in everything that he/she does. Thank You Lord. In Jesus Name. Amen

What did He say to you (Church Camp)

2010-05-02T22:57:00.003+08:00

I know we would be sharing it in coming cg, but I wanted to post here anyways. Since not many people will see it, and its also good to share it here too.

So here's mine:

新酒要装在新酒皮袋里。

During saturday night ministering, after Ps Wilson's teaching. There was an alter call about the gift of prophecy. I quickly ran down and to the front, right hand side of Pastor Wilson. I was one of the first there.

I really wanted it, not for myself, but for Jesus, and also His people. I wanted to be the bridge, to connect God's Word, God's will, God's heart to people.

As I was one of the first, I was at the first row, Ps Lai Ling Lim was just in front of me. At first I was a little disappointed because she didnt pray for me, but I knew, I was praying to God, He was the one who gives. Later a brother came to pray for me. Somehow, he knew my hunger, how eager I was, how much I wanted it. And he also told me, be close to God. "Be close to God", this was the same message given to me by many previous prayers by other brothers and sisters. I am not sure if I have received it, thats why I kept quiet and stayed back. In my heart, I kept the faith that God had already given it to me.

On my way home, after sending Charles and Leong Ling home, after discussing some problems with them, I realised that my life and many things around me are actually not that "bright" or "good" or "optimistic". Everything seems crumbling, and in the process crushing me.

So how is all this related to "新酒要装在新酒皮袋里"? New wine, is the anointing of God, which is also the Gift. And as you guessed it, I am the wine skin. I need to be new too, if I want to receive the gift. And new wine cannot be put in old wine skin as it will break. So I prayed to God. Turn me new, newer than before, because I really need it. I need it so I can accommodate the new wine, I want to be the new wine skin!

Bugging me lately

2010-04-26T01:51:00.003+08:00

Something's inside my head, bugging me lately. It was all because of a dream, that had rekindled this troublesome feeling. Why must it always be dreams? The 1st time, the 2nd time, and now the 3rd time.

Though I dont remember what or how the dream was, but I clearly remember who the dream was about. Yeah, its my dream girl again, again.

Why~ Why~ I have to ask... Now Im like stalker mode and all weird again. This is not a good sign and definitely not good for my current situation at all.

It's impossible, dream for a reason, because its impossible. More impossible than normal impossible that we normally speak about. I thought I had already let it go, but all it took was another dream.

I have other priorities, other things that are more important that I need to focus at, but why... I dont need this, geez...

Anyways, I wanna type this down sort of like a journal, so I can read back and recall the past events of my teenage life.

Should I bang my head against the wall?

2010-04-01T18:30:00.002+08:00

Problems, problems, problems. I'm sure everybody hates them, but somehow, they always seems t bounce back to you. I know its kinda naive thinking, why everything wouldn't just go smoothly.

So now, I present to you, my problems.

1. There's a few assignments that gonna be due next week, and without Flash, Illustrator and Photoshop, I couldn't do a thing without them. So if I cant do it at home, I'll just do it in school. With my ID problem, couldn't access the open labs and I have to go 6th floor and bla bla bla, but I couldn't, because I have to change my ID to the new one (foundation -> degree), but that would take a long time. Then I borrowed Calvyn's ID. So I went school, made 3 rounds around the place just to look for a parking space. Guess what, open labs have no Photoshop, no Illustrator and no Flash, and the Multimedia open lab is not so "open" with lecturer's always using it for classes.

2. Its never easy being a shepherd, and lately, seems like some BGR problems coming up. Now how am I gonna talk to them about it? Will they open up? Will it be settled? Can I really help them? How will they feel if I keep asking them about the matter?

I'm not being ungrateful or negative or what. I'm just addressing the facts and figuring a way to solve them. If you can help me, especially with problem 1 (you have Photoshop, Illustrator and Flash CS4), please do, because I really really really need it!

义卖会宣传

2010-03-14T01:30:00.010+08:00

A video I made (directed, shot and edited) for the publicity of our sale item during our church sales, where the funds to go help brothers and sisters who wanna go to MNC.

Thank you Sophia, Ivy, Sebastian, Charles, Albert, Jason, Ik Fui, Lin Sun, Muk Fui, Leong Ling and Ai Lian.

Locations used where Sophia's house and Stutong Park. Shot on 13/3/2010. Newest update 17/3/2010

Sorry about the poor quality, blur video and poor sound for the second song, I had already tried my best to fix it...

Ability Shop

2010-03-07T00:34:00.010+08:00

You might be wondering, what ability shop. Well, its a manga I just read. Look below.

(From onemanga.com)

Summary

Toshiki is a below average student and often the target of ridicule. He accidentally runs into a shop sign and breaks it, when he enters the shop he finds out it will sell him abilities.. But these abilities don't come cheap.

http://www.onemanga.com/Ability_Shop/

If abilities could be bought, I'd buy the ability to evangelize. In the manga, customers pay with their remaining life span. And I said to myself, I'd pay any price to have the ability to evangelize. But then, just like our life span, if we spend time to develop an ability, isnt it the same as "buying" them with our life span? So maybe, I would not "pay any price to obtain the ability" hahahaha. However, ever since I came to know Christ, my biggest desire is to evangelize. Biggest desire because it is the one thing that I wanna do and cannot do well. I really wanna see my family, relatives, friends and all the people around me come to know God, the same God that I know. So I guess, I better start spending time and effort to develop this ability, the ability to evangelize!

Uni Reopen

2010-03-05T12:50:00.006+08:00

University, or school is what I prefer to call it, is gonna reopen soon. I've had a super long holiday, and it wasnt as easy as I had expected. I've had my share of yelling and lecturing and bla bla bla from my parents (which I do hear and pay attention to) for not working during the holidays. I know I kept on saying Im not lazy, I just want a work that doesnt touch my Friday nights (prayer meeting), Saturday nights (care group) and Sunday mornings (Sunday service), but there is also this one thing, I didnt go on a job hunt...

Okay~ now back to school reopen matters, since I have morning classes for the coming sem, I have to adjust my time back to normal. I had been sleeping real late and I mean really really really late and waking up real late too (this one also very very very late).

Other than that, Im gonna get a hair cut because I dont like my current hair, though Im lazy to go out, I have to and I will.

New sem, gonna be in Degree. Thinking of how I could be salt and light again... To those of you who have no idea what Im talking about, ignore this(hahaha). And those who do, just keep quiet. I really really wanna see it happen, it as in (Im not gonna tell you, if you know you know, if you dont then dont).

And oh yeah, Multimedia Design, drawing, me no gurd, me bead draw, like smlla kib, no draw, safe me. Oh well, I guess I can learn. Still better than learning codes I presume...

Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010

2010-02-27T01:51:00.005+08:00

I know its a little late writing this post since its already at the end of February, but looking back at the old posts, I decided to write one anyways.

2009 to me, was the worst year of my life. Seriously, Im not exaggerating about it. Due to some very personal issues, I dont feel comfortable sharing it. Just proves how bad a trauma it is to me. I just couldnt wait for it to pass any sooner. Lets see the effects, I sleep late (real late), I wasted half a year of my life (including 3k money), and some horrible horrible sins.

I dunno if I had paid enough for what I did, but I really did suffer a lot.

Thank God for a new year, where I can throw everything away, get new hope and also a new start. Its very important to me because I really need it, due to the horrible events of 2009 of course.

And praise Him for His faithfulness, the year started awesome and has been great until now. But I know sooner or later something is gonna rock my boat, because thats just life. Its God's way of making me a better person, and I know it. All I ask is that He be with me all in all.

Guess I'll be signing off here, peace out~

Personality Test (Warning: Dont Trust All)

2010-02-20T23:54:00.005+08:00

1. Imagine that you are walking along a path. What do you see around you?
Forest, so much forest that you can hardly see the sky.
A yellow corn field against a brilliant blue sky.
Softly sloping green hills, with a view of mountains in the distance.

2. What do you see near your feet?
A mirror
A ring
A bottle

3. Will you pick it up?
Yes
No

4. You walk along and find water. In what form is the water?
A lake
A waterfall
A river

5. You see a key in the water and you pick it up. What does it look like?
An ordinary house key
A beautiful antique key
A small silver locker key

6. Next you stumble across a house. What type of house is it?
A spacious Hollywood mansion
A hut with a garden full of flowers
A beautiful old stone castle

7. What do you do next?
Look into the window
Walk right on inside and explore
Walk away. You're not that interested.

8. Suddenly, something jumps out at you. What is it?
A bear
A wizard
A spider

9. Because you are so scared you run until you see a wall blocking the path in front of you. There is a door, but it's locked, so you look through the key hole. What do you see?
A beautiful house with a vast garden.
A pond in the middle of a desert.
A beach with waves crashing onto the sand.

Show Result (Not really)

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Me Birthday

2010-02-10T23:28:00.004+08:00

Though I didnt do much on my birthday,

apart from having my resit in the morning,

I have the wonderful company of my friends at night at Kado.

Thanks Anderson, Calvyn, Lester and Poh Chun!

1st picture fail, guess who are those 2?

2nd picture fail also

Last picture, better, but still...

Feed My Sheep

2010-02-08T17:14:00.000+08:00

John 21:15-17 (New International Version)

¹⁵When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

¹⁶Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

¹⁷ The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.

My Kind of Girl

2010-01-09T01:50:00.003+08:00

I find this interesting so I took this from Mr Yong Hua Kiong in Facebook.

Now, here's what you're supposed to do, and please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 20 of your friends *including me* here in facebook to answer this. Then see what happens.

if you a guy- post this as my kind of girl..
if your a girl- post it as my kind of boy..

1.Do you need him/her to be good looking?
- Well it will be a good bonus

2. Smart?
- smart enough to understand what Im saying...

3. Preferred age?
- Slightly younger than me

4. Preferred height?
- Up to my nose

5. How about sense of humor?
- Can take a joke (at least)

6. How about piercings?
- Ears ok, others NO!

7. Accepts you for who you are?
- Yeah, including helping me to improve better

8. Pink hair?
- Anime/manga meh?

9. Mushy or no?
- Tak paham

10. Thin or fat?
- Fat is definitely a NO

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
- Im not racist or something, but I'd prefer Chinese

12. Long hair or short hair?
- Long

13. Plastic or metal?
- How about flesh?

14. Smells good?
- Haha yeah

15. Smoker?
- NEVER

16. Drinker?
- Minimal level, just like me

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
-Would like it

18. Musically inclined?
- As long as not tone deaf ok liao

19. Plays piano?
- Not necessarily

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
- Same as above

21. Plays violin?
- What's up with the musical thingy

22. Sings very good?
- Dont mind

23. Vain?
- Dont like

24. With glasses?
- Better not, not because of the glasses, but the vision

25. With braces?
- Just take it off

26. Shy type?
- Fine with it

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
- Good!

28. Active or passive?
- Normal ok liao, dont want too extreme of both sides

29. Tight or bomb?
- Tight, dont like crazy girls

30. Singer or dancer?
-Singer gua, because dance has lost its elegance as of late

31. Stunner?
- Hopefully only me stunned hahahaha

32. Hiphop?

- Likes that music genre ok lah, but better dont know the dance

33. Earrings?
- Fine, but not the extreme types

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
- NOOOOOOOOO!

35. Dimples?
- Dont mind if got or not

36. Bookworm?
- Should be fine

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
- IF its englishl

38. Playful?
- Ok I guess

39. Flirt?
- Haha yeah, but only with me

40. Poem writer?
- Better not produce crap (oppps)

41. Serious?
- At times when needed

42. Campus crush?
- Prefer church, because like that confirm is Christian hahahaha

43. Painter?
- Dont really care

44. Religious?
- Christian ONLY

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
- But doesnt go overboard and know when to stop

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
- Not as bad as me should be fine

47. Speaks 20 languages?
- Would be helpful, but then she can scold me in 20 languages and I dont even know hahahaha

48. Loyal o faithful?
- Can I choose both?

49. Good kisser
- O_O yes

50. Loves children??
- Of course

Christmas - My Thoughts

2009-12-26T23:45:00.003+08:00

You know why is there Xmas when the actual word is Christmas? Realise that the word Christ from Christmas, which means Jesus Christ, was cancelled with a huge X. There is a reason to it, wanna know why? Dont let the truth scare you. It's because... the devil wants to make it insignificant!

On Christmas day, did'ja all realise the weather was super awesome? Where as it was raining everyday. As far as Im concerned, to me, even nature itself admits Christmas is a special day. The words "joy to the world" kept on cycling in my mind. Indeed, it was the day man received HOPE! God still loves us! How great a hope is that! Indeed it was joy to the world.

At night, when in church, during the gifts exchanging event, I had the privilege to give gifts to people who didnt bring any gifts to exchange. As I was giving, I felt the fulfillment, the fulfillment of my destiny. Actually, my name Hiroshi means the great one or the noble one, but Hiro means give. Simply giving, means that Im fulfilling my destiny. It felt great!

After the service, I stayed back to help clean up the church and stayed back even later to accompany my bro Nyiap Hong to lock up the church. Later we went to have supper, and it was a feast hahahaha. Yeah, my great bro blessed me with the food and we had a great time sharing and chatting. The sharing and chatting helped me to desire to have the first passion, much like the first love, when serving God, teaching His Words, leading Praise and Worship, shepherding my sheep, chairing and prayer, etc. Thanks bro!

Readers may find my post to be a little jumping here and there, but whatever, those are the things in my mind.

Hip Hop Ghost

2009-11-02T11:31:00.001+08:00

Im afraid of no ghost, you?

La la la lala, la la la lala, la la la lala, la la la la~

Hallowing Halloween

2009-11-01T01:01:00.003+08:00

Today, when suddenly there was no electricity, I had nothing better to do than to rest. So when I was lying on my bed, trying to get some nap time, crazy thoughts came crashing upon me. Wanting to do the right thing, I prayed and proclaimed, fighting the evil and temptation with faith and humble. "God has already forgiven me... I am sanctified... These things are not of me, I have nothing to do with them... " were among the words I used.

Little did I realised today is Halloween, nor did I paid much attention to since we are in Malaysia. However, when I was reading Our Daily Bread, the thoughts "Coincidence... or is it?" came into my mind. The message as below:

He will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work. -2 Timothy 2:21

The word hallow used much anymore, and when it ism the uses have a broad range of meaning. Christians use the word when we say the Lord's prayer, as in "Hallowed be Thy name." Often the word is associated with the last day of October, which people in the US refer to as Halloween, a shortened form of All Hallows' Eve.

In Scripture, the word hallow is a synonym for the word sanctify. When we hallow or sanctify something, we set it apart as being holy.

The name of God is not the only thing that we are to hallow. We too are to be hallowed. Paul urged Timothy to be a vessel sanctified and useful for God by pursuing "righteousness, faith, love, [and] peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart" and by avoiding "foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife" (2 Tim. 2:21-23).

On this last day of October, children in the US will be carrying bags filled with sweets. Thinking of them can remind us to ask: "What is filling the vessel of my life? Is it a bitter attitude that leads to foolish disputes and strife, or is it a sweet spirit that leads to righteousness, faith, love, and peace?"

We can hallow today, and every day, by setting ourselves apart for God to be used by Him. -Julie Ackerman Link

Lord, may our lives be set apart

And useful in Your hands;

Pursuing righteousness and faith

As we fulfill Your plans. -Sper

A Christian's greatest joy is to be used by God.

Our Daily Bread, October 31, Saturday

分享我的生命-中学时期

2009-10-21T18:22:00.013+08:00

这会是我部落格的第一张华文文章。

为什么我会心血来潮要分享我中学时期的生命呢？而且又要用华语呢？

在我中学的时候，跟每个人都一样，有一个我喜欢的人。我记得，那时是在Form2. 我喜欢那个女孩，所以就想办法接近她，拿她的电话号码等等。那时候我使用字条，透过一个女性朋友帮我传给她。一旦我拿到她的电话号码后，就每天晚上都跟她玩信息，用华文，大家都知道我比较拿手在英文，也不喜欢用华文。晚上也很常听情歌，想她，emo一下。

那时我很可笑，但我想很多人也一样吧！就是喜欢一个人，但是又怕接近他。接近他时，整个人都变呆了，不知道要说什么好，想尽快离开那尴尬的场面。

我还记得，我会星期五提早到学校，就是要走整个学校，为要可以看到她，但她从来都没早来过。

好了，就进入真正的故事吧！一开始的时候，除了拿电话号码，纸条里面也有表白和追求的内容。她拒绝我，说什么还小等等。但不久她就有男友了。朋友之前就有告诉过我，但我就不相信我朋友告诉我的话，就单单相信她拒绝我的接口，但是到如今我还是不知道真相。

就如我上面有说到，都有玩信息保持联络。在认识她不久，就是她的生日了。身为追求者的我，自然而然地会送礼物给她，不知道为什么会那样做。我从来都不曾做过这样的事，也不是我的本性买礼物给人，看我多用心。

我忘了说，因为她人很美，所以很多追求者。

她的那个男友，因为发现到我跟她很好，就送sms警告我，而且还用国语。想起来还蛮可笑，大概是要隐瞒身份吧。但我都有跟她男友解释清楚，过后这家伙都会跟我说他们的问题，真是的。有一次，他们要分手了，我又不知为什么会成为他们的中间人/和谐人。

过后，是在Form3的时候，绯闻传来她有新男友了。亏我们这么好朋友，也没告诉我。要我像电视剧里面的侦探一样，来发掘真相，真是的。她男友的一个朋友找我聊天，目的是要问清楚我和她的关系，因为关心朋友嘛，我明白。聊天当中，我才发现，原来是她主动追求的，我也无话可说。

然后，她就转校去Kuching Town. 我们都没办法在学校碰面了。对了，之前，我还为了她而参加taekwondo呢！因为Kuching Town没有这个WTF taekwondo, 所以她去星期六在Kenyalang的练习。为了可以有点时间和她一起，我根本就不喜欢练taekwondo, 衣服又臭臭的，因为星期五在学校也有练习。我记得我们会提早到，就是要在那边打羽毛球。我也不太喜欢打羽毛球，但是就是要和她玩。练完过后，他妈妈就会送我回家，因为我之前都走路去和回家。听她妈妈说，她很常在家提起我，我听了还蛮高兴呢。

但日子久了，我们也渐渐失去联络了。我也很努力很努力的，试着把她忘掉。真的是很难，就像毒瘾一样，多么难！

这个就是我中学时期，青春时代的恋情故事。

A Moment

2009-10-15T00:24:00.003+08:00

When I was in Facebook, I saw a news feed by a friend, saying he posted some new photos and he titled them "A moment in my life".

When I saw it, I begin to think. Life is made up of moments. Moments, which means short. Little bit of things, make up life. Is that all to life? Short moments?

What if I tell you that there is more than life. To be specific, heaven and hell. I believe that both places exist. What if I tell you, if you can avoid going to hell? Will you do it? The call is yours, for I have done my part.

More Wouldn't Hurt

2009-10-14T03:25:00.003+08:00

I was considering, whether I wanna post this or not, because I had just posted one moments ago, but then I thought, more wouldn't hurt.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify you Father in heaven. -Matthew 5:16

We're not concerned about impressing others with our possessions or abilities, but we all should want to make a difference in the lives of people. What if there was one thing each of us did today that caused people to praise the Lord?

My answer: That would be awesome!

This is the wish I always wish,

The prayer I always pray:

Lord, may my life help others

It touches on the way.

Christians are windows

through which Jesus can shine.

Taken from Our Daily Bread, October 13, Tuesday

My Heart, My Burden

2009-10-13T22:41:00.005+08:00

We had a Leadership Meeting today in church at 7:30pm

Pastor shared something and there was a video and some praying.

I was particularly touched by the video "Anguish". And in the video, what really touched me was:

"Are you just watching tv while your family go to hell? Dont tell me you're concerned, when you spend more time on tv or on the internet."

Anguish, agony, deep pain, deep sorrow.

My tears almost came out when the first sentence, but when I heard the second sentence, I take back my tears. Indeed, how can I say Im concerned when I spend more time in front of the computer.

So I made a decision, to quit doing some stuff that takes up a lot of my time. I don't need to make commitments that are not related to God, only the ones that are related to God are worth keeping. That's why, I quit some apps in facebook and devote those time to praying. Because I do care, about my family, relatives, friends and people around, so I'm gonna do something about it. Often I have said, I dunno what to do so my family, relatives, friends and people around me could be saved. But what I can do (which is pray), I didn't even do it.

The Life that Counts

2009-10-11T00:07:00.003+08:00

The life that counts must toil and fight,

Must hate the wrong and love the right;

Must stand for truth, by day, by night-

This is the life that counts.

Taken from Our Daily Bread, October 10, Saturday

Mooncake Festival

2009-10-04T01:33:00.008+08:00

Woke up at 6am this morning because I have accounting quiz exam. Didn't sleep very well because I'm afraid I might sleep over and miss the quiz exam. I couldn't afford to do so because if I miss it, I dont need to wait until final to determine if i fail or pass the course. It's just like waiting to die.

Accounting quiz exam was at 10:30am, G8.13. Thank God I had spent the time studying with Calvyn, he helped me a lot.

After the quiz exam, went to the computer lab with Calvyn. We played counter strike, 2 of us terrorist versus 20 easy bots. Was fun, how I miss it.

Then I went home for a while and without much resting time, I had to go to church for a little discussion meeting. Finish the meeting at around 6:20pm and directly went to my grandmother's place.

After dinner at grandma's place, I muster the little bit of courage I have and asked my dad to excuse me so I can join my friends at Friendship Park. I almost went crazy in that little driving pavement at Friendship Garden. Try spending 1 hour at that little road, waiting for the exit to be green so you can move a few meters each time.

After that, I went to Wood Wood Kopitiam with the guys for a little supper.

In conclusion it was a great day. Tiring but satisfying. Makes me feel like an active healthy teen, lol. I'm also reminded about one scripture: in everything you do, ACKNOWLEDGE Him and everything will be smooth or fine or whatever it is. I dunno what word it is because I use the Chinese bible =P

Stole the pic from KH...

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

2009-10-01T15:19:00.007+08:00

So I guess I have a few thousand words in this post =P

I was looking through some old pictures and

decided to post the ones with the biggest, bestest, brightest smiles.

Recently

2009-09-30T21:28:00.003+08:00

Haven't post in quite sometime now, guess lately I have problems expressing myself.

Life huh, life... It's a strange thing I'd say. So many things about it. Looking around, seeing different things, yet wondering. This is very funny, because I'm typing nothing. Just typing, not talking any sense.

Haha, feeling kinda weird right now, but don't worry about me. Catch ya later!

You Are Not Gonna Believe This

2009-09-17T16:08:00.001+08:00

Kids nowadays have become so voilent, tsk tsk

Trials and Comfort

2009-09-09T02:44:00.001+08:00

When God permits trials, He is sure to follow up with comfort.

We are not comforted to be comfortable, but are comforted to be comforters.

Be sure to comfort others, once you know how and is comforted by God.

A Poem

2009-09-03T01:57:00.003+08:00

Your blood shed,

so I can live,

freely;

Your body broken,

so I can live,

peacefully;

Your tears flow,

so I can live,

gracefully;

Your life given,

so I can live,

victoriously;

What have You not given,

so that I can live.

What storm can stand against me?

What bump can stand against me?

What obstacle can stand against me?

What problem can stand against me?

When the Lord is for me!

He shall not forget nor forsake me,

when it was Him who sent me.

I will be still;

know You are God.

安靜 | An Jing | Silence

2009-08-23T23:03:00.005+08:00

曲/詞: 周杰倫
Qu/Ci: Zhou Jie Lun
Music/Lyrics: Jay Chou

Translation: ava – www.jay-chou.net

只剩下鋼琴陪我談了一天
Zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian
Only the piano accompanies me throughout the day

睡著的大提琴
Shui jiao de da ti qin
The sleeping cello

安靜的舊舊的
An Jing de jiu jiu de
Quiet and so old

我想你已表現的非常明白
Wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai
I think you've made yourself clear

我懂我也知道
Wo dong wo ye zhi dao
I know and I'm sure

你沒有捨不得
Ni mei you she bu de
You don't regret

你說你也會難過我不相信
Ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xin
You say you're upset too, that I don't believe

牽著你陪著我也只是曾經
Qian zhe ni pei zhe wo ye zhi shi cheng jin
You being with me was in the past

希望他是真的比我還要愛你
Xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni
I hope he loves you more than I do

我才會逼自己離開
wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai
Only then will I bring myself to leave

Chorus

你要我說多難堪
Ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan
You want me to say it, but it is awkward

我根本不想分開
Wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai
I don't even want to break up

為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過
Wei she me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo
Why must I depend on a smile to tide me through?

我沒有這種天份
Wo mei you zhe zhong tian fen
I don't have the ability

包容你也接受他
bao rong ni ye jie shou ta
To accept both you and him

不用擔心的太多
Bu yong dan xin de tai duo
Don't worry too much

我會一直好好過
Wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo
I'll still be fine

你已經遠遠離開
Ni yi jin yuan yuan li kai
You've already gone far away

我也會慢慢走開
Wo ye hui man man zou kai
And I will slowly walk away

為什麼我連分開都遷就著你
Wei she me wo lian fen kai dou qian jiu zhe ni
Why is it that I have to accommodate you even when [we] break up?

我真的沒有天份
Wo zhen de mei you tian fen
I really don't have the ability

安靜的沒這麼快
An jing de mei zhe me kuai
Staying silent doesn't come so fast

我會學著放棄你
Wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni
I will learn to give you up

是因為我太愛你
Shi ying wei wo tai ai ni
Because I love you so much

Repeat

Look for the hints, they are faint, but they exist

Are you mean and sarcastic?

2009-08-20T01:10:00.009+08:00

Objective: Are you mean and sarcastic? Have you ever answered people ‘meanly’ and sarcastically? If yes, show us how mean and sarcastic you are! If no, then you should try at least once in your life with this note.

Rule: Respond to these as sarcastic/mean as you could.
(YR stands for Your Response.)
once uve been tagged must do!
happy reading!

If an annoying person says:
1) I am cute.
YR: If you are cute, then no one is ugly loh

2) I am the most beautiful/handsome:
YR: Die want face
For gals: You ever knew a great invention called mirror?
For boys: Even the female dog see you will vomit ah

3) See, everyone likes me because I am rich and famous!
YR: Screw the money, I have rules XD

4) Unlike you, I am perfectly multi-skilled. I do everything very well from sports to academic thingy..
YR: Of course, that's coz I dont do ass-kissing

5) You don’t know me? I am Bruneian artist; I have albums.
YR: Brunei so small, everyone in Malaysia spit one drop on you, you already sink loh

If an annoying hot woman/man says:(if hes really2 hot)
1) I know you like me.
YR: *ignores*

2) What are you looking at? I am not interested in you!
YR: Then why are you looking at me?

3) Sorry, you are nice but seriously not my type!
YR: Nice people not ngam bad people de

4) UNLESS you are rich, then don’t dream that I will get a ride with you!
YR: Later my Saga overtake you ah, see your face how

5) Look, I am pretty/handsome; I can make people hate you!
YR: Eat full so free ah you

If an annoying extremely ugly woman/man says:(if hes really ugly)
1) I think you and I can make a good couple.
YR: Ahhh, a pig is talking to me *run away with both hands in the air*

2) May I have your cell phone no? please please please?
YR: Go check yellow pages XD

3) Hi, wanna hang out? I want you to be with me the whole night..
YR: Bo eng ah

4) What do you like about me?
YR: I like about you having nothing to like XD

5) I want you to say that I am pretty/handsome and you like me sooooo much!
YR: Bluekkkkk (vomit)

If your enemy says:
1) Hi bitch!
YR: Did I hear something? Coz I think I did

2) You smell like shit!
YR: Coz you're near me

3) What an ugly creature you are!
YR: Well thank you, but you definitely look "better"

4) I am going to kick your ass in this race for sure!
YR: LOL eat _______ (whatever the game is about)

If your annoying ex says:
1) I still love you...
YR: And I still love her(her is someone else lol)

2) I know you still love me!
YR: You know wrong loh

3) Please, go back with me honey/hubby..
YR: Good goat dont eat back head grass

4) Please call me...
YR: Phone no money liao

5) The break up hurt me so much..
YR: So nice ah

If an annoying salesperson says:
1) Wow! You are so pretty/handsome!
YR: I know lah~

2) Seriously, I used this product and I've Changed!
YR: Well that explains alot

3) We are giving a discount up to 50%!
YR: Means last time cheaper lah

4) This one is good sir/madam. Buy sir/madam, buy..
YR: No money

A Story

2009-08-20T00:16:00.004+08:00

The main character of our story today is a boy named ヒロ who has a crush on a girl named レン.

One day, レン told ヒロ she had twins and that she had been married for almost a year now. But レン is only 17 turning 18 years old, however she doesnt seem like she was lying. How is ヒロ suppose to react? You guys get to choose. Put your version in comment box ^^

A Friend Once Told Me

2009-08-19T18:20:00.007+08:00

walk against da time... to meet ppl who was in my life...

I wonder if she still remembered, or was it just a past quote.

The same friend who said this, told me "you cant always think bk, yew will get old very fast"

Then I told her "some sweet

memories are worth going back to"

All I Have To Do Is Dream by The Everly Brothers*

2009-08-17T18:34:00.004+08:00

Dedicated to my dream girl, whom all I can do is dream about, no more.

Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
When I want you in my arms
When I want you and all your charms
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream

When I feel blue in the night
And I need you to hold me tight
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam

I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine
Anytime night or day
Only trouble is, gee whiz
I'm dreamin' my life away

I need you so that I could die
I love you so and that is why
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam

I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine
Anytime night or day
Only trouble is, gee whiz
I'm dreamin' my life away

I need you so that I could die
I love you so and that is why
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream

FADE
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream

*Just ignore this post

The Day Time Flew

2009-08-15T22:57:00.010+08:00

Hahaha, it was a fun day and many times before I realised it, it was already late. So my reaction was: 1. Time flies; 2. Wow, it's that late already.

So, I head over to Kado and reach there at 2:10pm. More than half of everyone was already there. We had like 20 people (19 to be exact) in our gang, so many lol. Let's try to list out everyone: Anderson, Audrey, Alicia, Jessie, Samuel, Olivia, Sky, Samatha, Siao Wee, Calvyn, Elrich, CBC, Ezra, Chong, Lester, Ellen, Moi, Kang Hong and myself. I had a cup of red tea, one Kado burger (not worth it) and one lamb burger. I had to pay RM13.50 and the total of the resit for all of us is RM211.20.

Later on, we all went to Hock Lee Centre's arcade centre, unfortunately some had already gone home. Spent RM2 on the air hockey today, lost to Anderson, twice! Hahahaha, played so badly today, couldnt get into my rhythm, Anderson really thrashed me today. Then I spent RM2 on Daytona, thrash 2 cars, dunno who were the poor victims hahahaha. But I got last in both races, I really forgotten how to play that game. Oh yeah, before Daytona, I raced Sky once in Initial D Stage 4. Lost to him by 80 metres, which isnt so bad and it was Chiu Ming. Thanks for the RM4.

After that, I went to Elrich's house to play Batman: Rise of Sin Tzu, we had been playing this game a few times and today we finally beat the game. Though we had to cheat, because Sin Tzu was cheating, it wasn't fair, almost not possible to beat him. The game itself was fun, but the bosses, we really needed game fag to know how to beat them, the developers made it too hard with hardly noticeable hints. After we beat Sin Tzu, I looked at the time and it was already 7pm. Lol I had to rush to church, didnt realise it was so late already.

During care group, it started late, which isnt a good thing, the chair person and coordinator didnt do her job. But I find p&w to be great, it was very enjoyable and it really felt great, I was really in to it, ministered to my heart. Today is actually my first teaching in cg, I dont think I made much preparation but I hope everyone received something from God. Overall, I enjoyed the cg. After cg, Lin Sun bought us all drinks, thanks Lin Sun! Present tonight were Ik hui, Ik Fui, Ivy, Sophia, Charles, Sebastian, Albert, Lin Sun, Leong Ling and myself.

In conclusion, it was a fun and enjoyable day, a great day. But I wouldnt wanna live life like this everyday hahahaha. Btw, no voice, talk too much today hahahaha. Special thanks to Calvyn, Olivia and Jessie for the pictures and sending it to everyone.

Yokatta

2009-08-08T23:15:00.002+08:00

You're finally willing to let go, yokatta, I'm glad. Knowing you are gonna do well, I'm relieved. Leaving everything to God is definitely the best thing to do.

Now isn't probably the time yet, but I hope things will go back to normal, how I wish it didn't happen. Ganbatte! Let's live for God and shine!

100 Truths

2009-08-02T01:24:00.003+08:00

I got this from Josef in Facebook, I find it interesting, so I'll do it.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, copy and paste this note, erase my answers and enter your own, tag people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Long Jing Green Tea
2. Last phone call: Mummy
3. Last text message: Ik Hui
4. Last song you listened to: Uptown Girl
5. Last time you cried: 2 Sundays ago

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: No
7. Been cheated on: No
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Guess so
9. Lost someone special: Yes
10. Been depressed: Yes
11. Been drunk and threw up: Never

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Green
13. I have alot of things that are blue
14. Dunno, perhaps shiny haha

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Guess so
16. Fallen out of love: Dont understand
17. Laughed until you cried: I think so
18. Met someone who changed you: Not sure
19. Found out who your true friends were: Guess I always knew
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Ummm, yes?
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Friend list lol
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Friend list again
23. How many kids do you want?: As many as God would give
24. Do you have any pets: 2 cats, 1 dog
25. Do you want to change your name?: Yes
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Dinner at Imperial Duck
27. What time did you wake up today: Around 12:30pm
28. What were you doing at midnight: Doing this
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Well, I'd like to see the salvation of my family, relatives and friends
30. Last time you saw your Mother: Friday, before going to prayer meeting
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Instead of sleeping, continue smsing
32. What are you listening to right now : Paint My Love
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Tom no, Thomas yes
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: My stupidity
35. Most visited webpage: My blog I think
36. Whats your real name: Hiroshi Chong Yen
37. Nicknames: Hiro
38. Relationship Status: Single
39. Zodiac sign: I don't like this
40. Male or female?: Male
41. Primary school: SJK Sungai Apong
42. Secondary school: SMK Pending
43. High school/college/university: Swinburne
44. Hair color: Black
45. Long or short: You mean hair?
46. Height: Not sure, every ruler is different, safe to say is between 170cm-179cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone? : Yes
48: What do you like about yourself?: Being fortunate to have a good life
49. Piercings: No
51. Righty or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: The one during birth counted?
53. First piercing: No
54. First best friend: Should be Chin Chee Tung or my cousin
55. First sport you joined: Join? As in school?
56. First vacation: I think is Indonesia
58. First pair of trainers: Sport shoes you mean

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: No
60. Drinking: Plain water
61. I'm about to: Quiet time, read bible, pray, sleep
62. Listening to: I Miss You
63. Waiting on: Ren to talk to me like normal

YOUR FUTURE
64. Want kids?: Yes
65. Get Married?: Yes
66. Career?: Not sure

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes can see
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
69. Shorter or taller: Taller
70. Older or Younger: Younger
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arm: Stomach I guess
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: Dont understand
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: No
77. Drank hard liquor: Tuak during Gawai considered?
78. Lost glasses/contacts: No
79. Sex on first date: No
80. Broken someone's heart: Yes
82. Been arrested: Police called, but I didnt show up
83. Turned someone down: Kinda
84. Cried when someone died: Yes
85. Fallen for a friend?: Gotta be friends before you fall right?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: I think so
87. Miracles: Yes
88. Love at first sight: Yes
89. Heaven: Yes
90. Santa Claus: I believe the guy exist, but the story of north pole toy factory, little men and flying reindeers, going down the chymny, no
91. Kiss on the first date: Yes
92. Angels: Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No
95. Did you sing today?: Yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: No
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: About a year and 2 months ago...
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: Smsing with Ren
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Maybe
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: Duh~

A Song

2009-08-01T23:15:00.004+08:00

If you're stupid and you know it clap your hand,

*clap* *clap*

If you're silly and you know it nod your head,

*nod* *nod*

If you dunno what I'm posting and you really wanna know it,

if you really wanna know it, just slap me.

*slap* *slap*

How I hope this is true >_<

Decision; Resolution

2009-07-31T12:40:00.001+08:00

I will thrive my best to be a good son, brother and friend. Please just gimme a chance to do so.

WWJD; GADL

2009-07-31T00:54:00.004+08:00

This occur to me during my quiet time.

We have always heard of WWJD - what would Jesus do, but does it occur to people that there is a part two from the famous WWJD. Which is GADL - go and do likewise. This really struck me. We always knew about how good God is, His grace, His compassion.... and many more. But the sentence, GADL - go and do likewise, really puts alot of pressure, especially on me.

I will learn, learn to take "it's none of my business" out of my system. Those are people in need, people who need help, and it IS my business.

Thank"full"

2009-07-31T00:14:00.000+08:00

So I'm having supper right now, which is a double cheese burger, frence fries and a coke! All thanks to my mum. Yummy lucky me~

Not promoting McValue Lunch!

Ruined and Apologise

2009-07-30T13:13:00.000+08:00

Arghhhh, I couldn't sleep early and I couldn't wake up. How can this be?! This is not good, I really really need to fix this, and quick. I have only like 10 days left!

I'm sorry guys, I had to bail on all of you. Badminton to AAA and going out with CEKHS.

I'll sleep early starting today, if not, I'll hit myself -_-

So...

2009-07-30T00:37:00.001+08:00

Receive sms from AL, about care group discussion stuff. Opps, forgot about coordinating coming cg.

Went to school and finish the At Risk procedures. Something so easy and simple, took me so many days to do it.

Finally, Ren "came online". Ok, I was blocked... Oh well, it's just one of those things. Can't really express myself, though I like to, but I can't. I really wish Bryan is on right now, where are you man.

Stairway of "emo"

Because of Him, I can stand

2009-07-26T01:10:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been so broken in your life?

Because of the events that happen all around you, crushing you.

I know I have.

Have you ever been so low in your life?

Because everything just seems so bad, discouraging you.

I know I have.

Have you ever been so hopeless in your life?

Because all you see are dark corners, consuming you.

I know I have.

Have you ever been so powerless in your life?

Because everything that happens is way out of your league, pinning you.

I know I have.

I just want to thank my God, thank Him for being so real, for being so real to me.

It's not my imagination, it's not just a feeling, it's something real, I can tell.

It was faith, it was hope, it was love. Faith, hope and love. That was all I needed.

Because of Him, I can stand.

And you know what? You can stand too!

When everything is wrong...

2009-07-22T01:53:00.000+08:00

Biggest problem would be from education. As I had failed 2 subjects, my parents had been making my life very hard. And then there is Swinburne whom sent me an At Risk letter requiring me to do some stuffs before I can enrol for my failed subjects.

Then there is my stupid mind messing with me, or rather my heart. It's so not needed, especially at this time.

After that there is the thing that I'm trying to fix myself, during this good opportunity of a time, which is during the holidays. Fix myself in terms of body, mind and spirit. But everything seems to be twarting my plan of starting all over again.

A Broken Heart and the Tears of a Man

2009-07-19T19:28:00.001+08:00

Maybe I wanna do something with these 2 pictures.

Failed 2 subjects...

2009-07-17T17:45:00.000+08:00

And so it happened, I dunno... how... what... haiz...

It's about the money, the work, the efford, the family, the everything.

Dunno lah...

Ever felt like...

2009-07-15T02:04:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt like, when you wanna start anew and there is a heavy baggage on you?

You wanna start all over again but there was something from your past preventing you from going forward?

It's not that you cannot let it go, you would be more than happy to do so, but that the heavy baggage was hanging on to you?

So... never do anything that you would regret, that would leave post effects bad enough to render your future. Think carefully of what you do and what you are gonna do, coz I tell u, it's serious.

Multimedia Assignment 2 & 3

2009-06-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

Multimedia Assignment 2: Scanning & Tracing

Easy

Medium

Difficult

Multimedia Assignment 3: Composing/Photomontage

Cd cover

Movie poster

Magazine cover

The Tempted Brothers

2009-06-20T01:43:00.000+08:00

Genesis 39:1-12

Two brothers - both far from home - faced sunular temptations. One, working away from the family, fell to the schemes of a younger woman. His sin led to embarrassment and family turmoil. The other, separated from loved ones because of family turmoil, resisted the advances of an older woman. His faithfulness led to rescue and renewal for the family.

Who are these brothers? Judah, who fell to the desperate scheme of his neglected daighter-in-law Tamar. And Joseph, who ran from the arms of Potiphar's wife. One chapter, an ugly story of irresponsibility and deception; the other, a beautiful chapter of faithfulness.

The stories of Judah and Joseph, presented back-to-back in the midst of "the history of Jacob", shos us that temptation itself is not the proble,. Everybody faces temptation, even Jesus did. But how do we face temptation? Do we demonstrate that faith in God can shield us from giving in to sin?

Joseph gave us one way of escape: Recognise sin as an affront to God and run from it. Jesus gave another: Answer temptation with truth from God's Word.

Facing temptation? See it as an opportunity to make God and His Word real in your life. Then run! -Dave Branon

O to grace how great a dbtor

Daily I'm constrained to be!

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,

Bind my wandering hear to Thee. -Robinson

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We fall into temptation when we don't stand against it.

Poem of the Day

2009-06-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

Lord, the trials we face at times seem too much to bear.
We're grateful, though, for the reminders in Your Word
that You will stay by our side and help us endure
till You call us Home. Amen

2 Timonthy 2:3 - You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

Taken from Our Daily Bread, June 6 Saturday

A Random Thought

2009-05-26T22:10:00.000+08:00

"After the rain, there will only be rainbow if the sun is there."

Sorry for the weird sentence structure, not sure how to express it. Hope one day one of you out there understands what it means. You can drop your guess at the comment box hahahaha.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOxCNItXpwc

Plan B?

2009-05-23T16:35:00.000+08:00

If you are wondering, Plan A would be the blog about Which one should I pick?
That is IF I pass my foundation studies.

So Plan B would be WHAT IF I dont pass my foundation studies? Why would I say this? I got this idea from a close friend. Considering:

How am I suppose to deal with degree if I cant even survive foundation?
Swinburne is SOOOOOOOOO expensive, would be a waste of money
I already tried my best... ... Even my best isnt enough, what would be? (This is what happens when you end up inheriting the less good genes from your parents... ...)

Assignment and Exam Period (Again)

2009-05-14T07:28:00.000+08:00

Yes folks, it's rush hour again.

This time I have:

Multimedia - Assignment 2 (Scanning and Tracing)

due on 29 May (Week 10), 35%

Programming - Assignment

due on (not stated, but should also be around Week 10)30%

Engineering Math - Quiz 1 & Quiz 2

14 May, 8:30-10:30am, G4.07, (should be 10%)
23 May, 7:00-9:00pm, MPH, (should be 30%)

English Part 2 - Assignment (Group work, 2000 word-report)

Week 10, (should be 35%)

... ...
Yep, speechless is all I can say, so much workload.

Home Is Where I Belong

No Updates

End of the Year Post

The Shirley Saga

R.I.P Grandma

How to?

She Might Just Be The One

Ever Wonder What Happen To Them?

As Clear As The Blue Blue Sky

Why am I going through all this?

Nightmare

How would you have felt?

Options

Fatherly Advice

She. Her. The Girl

Pray for Parents

4th Fort Sink

Thank You Edge

Its Kind of a Funny Story

3rd Fort Sunk by KSer aka me

In Ya' Face!

Michael Bublé - Home

Seriously Homesick

Home

Finally, I'm Going Home

Birthday, so what?

First Fort Sink in Battle Stations!

你看不到的天空

周杰倫-说了再见

2010 -> 2011

王力宏 - 愛在哪裡

Christmas in Singapore

遥远->寻找

喜欢=自私，爱X

你不知我为什么离开你～

Lost and Found

Oh the Pain

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Feeling like Crap

不能说的秘密

Struggling

Friendship and Relationship

…………等…………

2 Months...

Day Dream

恋爱通告 Love In Disguise (2010)

In Singapore

Brb, not Goodbye

The Prodigal Son

Luke 15:11-32 (New International Version)

The Parable of the Lost Son

iPawnZombies

Amidst Times of Busyness

What did He say to you (Church Camp)

Bugging me lately

Should I bang my head against the wall?

义卖会 宣传

Ability Shop

Uni Reopen

Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010

Personality Test (Warning: Dont Trust All)

Me Birthday

Feed My Sheep

John 21:15-17 (New International Version)

My Kind of Girl

Christmas - My Thoughts

Hip Hop Ghost

Hallowing Halloween

分享我的生命-中学时期

A Moment

More Wouldn't Hurt

My Heart, My Burden

The Life that Counts

Mooncake Festival

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Recently

You Are Not Gonna Believe This

Trials and Comfort

A Poem

安靜 | An Jing | Silence

义卖会宣传